crazybrave has moved to http://crazybrave.net/

MORE EXCITED THAN BIG KEV EVER WAS BEFORE HIS UNFORTUNATE (NOT TO MENTION UNTIMELY) RECENT PASSING!!!!

2006-09-01T12:50:00.000+10:00

After two happy years at Blogger, crazybrave 2.0 is now open for business at http://crazybrave.net/, with a shiny new RSS feed at http://crazybrave.net/feed/ for posts and http://crazybrave.net/?feed=comments-rss2 for comments.

I'd be very pleased if you'd update your blogrolls, feed readers and christmas card lists.

All the old posts and comments have been copied over, and comments have been turned off here for good. Come on over and pour youself a cup of something lovely.

Morning email from Owy:

2006-08-24T12:21:00.000+10:00

"I just had a brilliant Prentiss McCabe moment where I realised that if the ALP just completely shuts up and says absolutely nothing between now and the next election, there is a chance that people will be sick of hearing about JH and hearing his voice, and a suprising landslide could actually take place, but unlikely."

Book 'em

2006-08-17T21:21:00.000+10:00

It's been a long time since I've done a meme. Let's face it, it's been a while since I've done a bloody post. But the Duck has pinged me so here goes:

1. One book you have read more than once
I finished The Handmaid’s Tale a couple of days ago. I’ve been reading quite a lot about women in the central Asian countries lately – mainly Iran and Afghanistan – and I had a really strong urge to read it again. Far out that’s a good book (and one that others doing this meme have mentioned already).

2. One book you would want on a desert island
Impractically, Stephanie Alexander’s The Cook’s Companion. More usefully for boredom, read the Buddhists. I'd take A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield.

3. One book that made you laugh
Philip Roth’s Sabbath’s Theatre. I laughed like a drain, particularly at Mickey Sabbath’s imagined obituary “DID NOTHING FOR ISRAEL!”. Heh.

Funnily enough, de Sade’s Justine also made me laugh, and it made my naughty girlfriends laugh too. If I pick up the phone and there’s a voice saying “The extreme heat and constriction of your anus is driving me wild.” I know it’s one of two people. It's stayed funny for about fifteen years. Well, to me at least. Last time I did it was ... this afternoon.

4. One book that made you cry
If I am in a watery mood, the phone book can make me cry. That said, I find non fiction more upsetting than fiction. We Are Iran, a book about Iranian bloggers by Nasrin Alavi made me cry. I didn’t know that in the early days of the revolution the authorities might stop a woman on the street if she was wearing lipstick and slice her lips with razor blades. And a lot worse.

5. One book you wish you had written
I wish I had written The Vivisector, then I could impress all of my blog friends with my matchless insights at our book group.

6. One book you wish had never been written
I picked up (aka "caught") a couple of bookcrossing.com books a couple of weeks ago. I was very excited. The badness of these books is beyond belief. I’m on a promise to Georg to blog about the psychoanalytical biography of Margaret Thatcher (“Chapter 4: On the pot”), so more about that later. Terrible as that book is, it will at least provide a post. The other one I found is Stanley Morgan’s Sky-jacked, and it would test anyone’s commitment to the idea that books should never be burned.

7. One book you are currently reading
I’m reading The Vivisector, for the Patrick White Reading Group. I started early out of fear of being Overtaken By Events, and because the things that bubble to the surface after a little while are often more interesting than first impressions. I’m enjoying it a great deal.

8. One book you have been meaning to read
John Dos Passos’ USA has been staring off the shelf at me for years now. Hello there! One day.

9. One Book That Changed Your Life
You know, I’m not really a dropped out of the sky, life changing revelation type person. I plod along, working out something here, getting some good advice there – always watching, watching. There’s no one book that has “changed my life”, but all the thousands of books I’ve read have helped shape me. I’ll be playing frickin’ kumbaya in a minute at this rate, won’t I?

I'm going to tag Mick, because he tagged me a little while ago for a meme I had already done.

Infrequently asked questions

2006-08-10T10:05:00.000+10:00

What do you call women who have had a vaginal birth and believe there is an "Intelligent Designer"?

I mean, really.

Update: perhaps "Mrs Duggar" might be the answer? And if seeing that photo isn't enough, you should know that there have apparently been two more children since then. Which explains why people might mock.

Owen watches the opening episode of Australian Idol 4

2006-08-06T19:52:00.000+10:00

Are you online? Can you fucken go to the fucken site?

Can you tell them this shit at the beginning is SHIT? Why are they trying to sell it? We're fucken watchin' it? For fuck's.

I mean, what's with the ad for the show that you're already watching?

No really, you're too kind

2006-08-06T17:56:00.000+10:00

A very big thank you to the kind person who arranged to have a nice young man called Ben drop off a dot painting by central desert artist Dick Lechleitner on Saturday.

We were a bit surprised, frankly. Young Ben didn't know the name of whom it was supposed to go to, but was certain he had the address right. The only reason we accepted it was that O's mum and sister both collect aboriginal art, and we suspected his mum might have made a purchase to be disguised as a present from us for her birthday in a few weeks. Not that that's ever happened before, of course. So we called her - but she's got nothing to do with it.

I'm sure the rightful owner will be calling for it soon, but in the meantime it's really quite nice. So ta.

Updated to add: Rats. We got a note from young Ben, and did the decent thing and took it around two streets away. I was starting to really like it, too.

Then as farce ...

2006-08-03T09:53:00.000+10:00

I take back all that nastiness about the Howard government and history, what with them doing the First Fleet re-enactments and all now.

Wonder who they'll get to play the Savages?

Up there for thinkin'

2006-08-02T12:01:00.000+10:00

People say academics live in Ivory Towers and couldn't tell their arses from their elbows, but it's not ALL like that.

For instance I was heating up my lunch just then in the kitchen* when I spotted an ice cream container on the counter with a note on top. I hoped it was an invitation to make off with homemade cake or something, but it said

MAGPIE DECOY BREAD

Throw far from picnic table
to lure magpies away

Not just clever, but kind and thoughtful too.

* The baby gets hungry very early. I mustn't look pregnant yet (just horribly fat) because people still look askance when I eat lunch early. So it was very nice to be able to say "If you were having lamb shanks braised in red wine and balsamic vinegar on polenta with some gremolata on top you'd want it at half past eleven too."

BUT, she reconsiders the next day - it's dumb to feed the magpies anything! They'll still associate people at the table with getting fed, and try and peck me at lunch. No decoy bread for YOU, little birdy.

Budding enthusiasm

2006-07-28T15:22:00.000+10:00

The cherry trees are starting to blossom and the lilacs are swelling. It was still frosty this morning, but it's slowly getting warmer.

Pavlov's Cat has been out having an pre-spring frenzy, and was moved to post a delightful sonnet on her garden. It inspired this one from me:

Garden Sonnet

Four scratching chooks, a busted trampoline,
wasteland veggie gardens - one each side.
An old and sooky kelpie, long past lean,
sleeps underneath the table, always tired.
The hills hoist, weighted down with tiny clothes,
spins slowly over scratchy dried out grass.
The sprinker's somewhere - busted, I suppose.
We've watering restrictions, can't be arsed.
Beneath the wint'ry fruitless fruiting trees,
discarded toys are scattered left and right;
a sandpit of old brown papery leaves;
a rusty drum for fires on cold nights.
My iron claw foot bath sits near the door -
I soak, survey and do not dream of more.

Dear Sage

2006-07-25T19:34:00.000+10:00

Mummy and Daddy have got a very special surprise for you. You might have been wondering why Mum's been eating lots of dry biscuits, ~~eyeing off Dad's wine and anybody at all's cigarette while endlessly~~ complaining about being tired and not playing soccer anymore. Well, you're going to have a little brother or sister! Yay!

Mum will go to the Birth Centre to have the baby, and I'll be a ~~fucking shambles~~ bit sore and tired for a while after it comes. ~~Would you believe that babies come out of their Mummy's gineup*? I didn't think so.~~ We'll probably bring home the little baby the next day, and you'll discover a whole new world. ~~Of it not being your turn yet.~~ Babies are lots of fun. So it will be great. ~~After a while.~~ At first it will be a bit hard and Dad and especially Mum will be ~~braindead and distracted~~VERY busy looking after the baby.

You will need to be gentle and loving to the baby. All the time. Even if you're very cranky, or tired, or hungry, or sad or bored. ~~Mum will try and do the same for both of you, God help me.~~You'll get to practice sharing a lot. ~~Mainly Mum at first but sooner than you think possible all of your possessions too~~.

But when the baby gets a bit bigger you'll have a playmate ~~and someone to dob on and fight with in the back of the car on long trips~~. Mummy and Daddy will still love you just as much, we always will ~~it just won't feel that way.~~

With all my love

Mummy

* genuine Sage word

We shall fight coughs in the fields and in the streets!

2006-07-21T10:20:00.001+10:00

Being a post in honour of Miss Lucy Tartan's "Hot Statutory Pron!" , a series at Sorrow at Sill's Bend which guides us through the open air sculpture of Melbourne. She's encouraged others to join in, but I have until now resisted, due to the calibre of most of the sculpture in Canberra being what it is (oh, and me knowing bugger all about sculpture except what I don't like).

There's something really nice about working at my old university - the rush of nostalgia that comes from cycling past old haunts or seeing the same dishes (and very possibly the same actual food) at the Asian Bistro, that kind of caper.

Of course, much has changed and there are sometimes surprises lurking in the bushes.

Can you see it lurking?

Here, little bit closer - see it now?

Yeah, that's right - behind the monkey bars!

What the devil- it's Winston Churchill!

This statue, a cast of the one opposite the Palace of Westminster in London, used to grace Churchill House on Northbourne Avenue. Churchill House seems to have relocated and brought Winston with them. He was quite tucked away at his old home, but you would have to be VERY dedicated to find him here.

There's a special reason I am so fond of this statue. A million moons ago when the sweet'n'sour pork was first gracing the Asian Bistro's bain marie, my best mate's housemate was going out with a Liberal party staffer. For a rather high profile and horrid MP. (I know! She couldn't evict her, she was there first.) The boyfriend went on to grace the inner circle of the Prime Minister and - but I musn't, for I'm not whispering this in your ear at the pub, am I?

Anyhow, said boyfriend/staffer shared his later boss' enormous respect and affection for Winston Churchill. But also liked a bit of outdoor romance. And why not combine the things you love? Even if it is on Northbourne Avenue.

I wonder whether he had a hand in moving the statute to this much more discreet location?

I wonder if she held onto his foot?

Did she cry out, and what did she say?

And what do you think John Winston's saying here?

"You're not allowed to say it, but I'm saying it."

2006-07-19T19:56:00.000+10:00

My much-loved new car sticker. The post title is a quote from the man himself.

Infrequently asked questions

2006-07-19T19:45:00.000+10:00

This being an "energy superpower" caper - is it any different to our old standby of "selling rocks to the furriners"?

Because the White belongs to lovers!

2006-07-19T12:36:00.000+10:00

Because the White belongs to us!

Laura has proposed a Patrick White reading circle at Sarsaparilla.

This endeavour will provide opportunities to stick it to The Man at The Australian while talking about a good book with interesting people.*

A Big Brother style vote is being conducted in comments at the linked post - so go and nominate which works to save or evict and then hunt yourself down a copy. And does anyone know what that pug is so cut about?

* Also bad puns there for the taking.

Angela Shanahan continues to get it wrong, but at least it won't be stuffing up my Saturday morning anymore

2006-07-13T12:52:00.000+10:00

The last item in "The Diary" in the media section of today's Australian was so good it roused me from my sickbed to share it:

ANGELA Shanahan is distressed to have been dumped as a columnist for The Canberra Times. On Monday the new editor, Mark Baker, sent her a note sacking her. Shanahan, wife of The Australian's political editor Dennis Shanahan, describes Baker's actions as "censorship" because of her views on the ACT's gay marriage bill, which stirred up a lot of debate among readers. "This would be the equivalent of The Australian sacking Janet Albrechtsen or Phillip Adams, just because some people didn't like them," Shanahan tells Diary. Baker says he discontinued Shanahan's column after reviewing all the opinion writers. Baker, a former deputy editor, opinion editor and diplomatic editor of The Age, became editor last month following the departure in March of the contentious Michael Stevens, editor since 2001. Baker, who promises to reverse the Crimes' circulation decline, says Shanahan had two years writing on the paper and it was time for some "fresh voices". He denies Shanahan's conservative politics have anything to do with his decision. "She is a person with forthright views and she has every right to express them," Baker tells Diary. "But I have other people who come from a similar direction to her writing for the paper."

Yes, "Censorship"! Oh, how I laughed.

Take some personal responsibility, Angela. It's because you're not very good.

Remember the olden days, when humans used to answer the phone?

2006-07-13T10:35:00.000+10:00

Did you know that if the Centrelink Child Care assistance talkbot enrages you sufficiently that you tell it to get fucked, it replies "I think you said goodbye. Is that correct?"

136150 if you don't believe me. Their website, btw, is even worse. If a person with two university degrees and a website can't negotiate it, I don't think it's good enough. Fortunately if you do manage to get through to a human, they are always helpful and polite.

I was ringing them because they sent us a letter saying "here's what we estimate for your income next year, answer us to change it or do nothing if you agree with us". It was more or less right so we did nothing - and then got a scary letter to the effect that we hadn't answered them, so they might take our benefit away, BOOGOODA BOOGOODA!

Perhaps it's best not to try to interact with these people when you've got the flu. I'm giving in and going to bed with some lemon tea.

Some thoughts on Peter Costello

2006-07-12T14:03:00.000+10:00

From today's Australian:

Costello felt liberated by the thought of telling the truth about the 1994 meeting, but wasn't about to become a martyr on the backbench in the name of leadership pursuit.

Oh, shit or get off the pot you big sooky la la.

Did Mischa catch this juicy rat by asking nicely and waiting politely? Well, no.

And my, aren't The Smiths good for songs to dedicate to politicians? Here's one for the Treasurer.

PS - later in the same article we're advised "Amanda Vanstone, in a hot pink top, said she was looking forward to a constructive cabinet meeting." Jesus Christ, they'll tell us she's fat next. FFS. The article's credited to Steve Lewis and Dennis Shanahan. It's an embarrassment that (a) either of them thought Vanstone's blouse was front page material, and (b) the subby didn't get rid of it.

UPDATED TO ADD - don't miss Gianna's beautiful take on the same irritating sentence at She Sells Sanctuary.

PPS - the carcinogenic artificial sweetener on the window sill is for my Dad. Honest. He likes it.

Rug (and blog) nerds ahoy

2006-07-05T10:01:00.000+10:00

An article about how the project I'm working is making innovative use of blogging as a research tool has been published in today's Higher Education Supplement in The Australian. I've posted the full text over the fold if you're keen.

Mum will be pleased!

Carpet wars go online

ACADEMIC blogs can do more for research than merely disseminate it. They can help us carry out traditional tasks of scholarship in innovative ways.

With Tim Bonyhady of the Australian National University Centre for Environmental Law, I am conducting an Australian Research Council Discovery Project on the war rugs of Afghanistan.

An important tool for our preliminary research has been the blog The Rugs of War, hosted by ANU at http://sts-dev.anu.edu.au/rugsofwar.

The blog bears the university's badge and declares it is subject to the university's policies on attribution, plagiarism and ethical behaviour.

Our use of the open-source technology (the WordPress blogging platform) has evolved into a collaborative model that fits with the participatory ethos of blogging a lot more comfortably than the top-down approach of using blogs as just another form of one-to-many communication.

In our case, it became necessary because there are no institutional collections of war rugs, almost no serious art historical or anthropological scholarship, and thus very little is known about the circumstances of the rugs' production and distribution.

The war rug tradition originated almost immediately after the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in 1979, when rugmakers began incorporating complex imagery of tanks, helicopters and Kalashnikovs into their otherwise traditionally structured and coloured designs.

These practices continued throughout the decade of Soviet occupation and have persisted through subsequent military, political and social conflicts.

War-related imagery continues to be incorporated in rug making today, including motifs such as the hijacked planes crashing into the World Trade Centre twin towers in New York and images apparently copied from US propaganda leaflets.

We don't have a large readership or receive many comments; our readers are more likely to communicate by email than by commenting on a blog post.

Yet Rugs of War has given us access to collectors and dealers who operate outside existing institutional contexts.

This is particularly significant in an emerging field of scholarship, where institutional support for the field of study is yet to emerge.

We also wonder sometimes if other academics with an interest in this emerging field may be lurking with intent, that is, reading but not commenting or participating because they plan to publish independently.

Many colleagues have raised this issue, anticipating the worst outcome. In our experience, however, collaborators have more than outweighed predators.

We have received amazing help, and generous contributions of images and expertise. The blog has enabled us to seek advice, interpretations and translations in ways that orthodox research would not have made possible.

In the process we have found - in fact, were found by - such pioneers as the Turin architect Luca Brancati, whose exhibition of war rugs in contemporary art galleries in Italy in 1988 signalled the beginning of Western art analysis engaging with the rugs.

Some weeks ago we were contacted by Tatiana Divens, the US-based defence analyst, who published the first scholarly article on the genre in Oriental Rug Review in 1989.

Existing outside institutional frameworks, such crucial early researchers were otherwise invisible to orthodox modes of scholarly research.

Of course, there are parts of our project for which blogging provides little assistance. Obviously, the rugs do not speak for themselves, and the poverty and isolation of the makers means direct communication is exceedingly difficult.

At the beginning of a project such as this it's impossible to know much about a given rug's origins, where it was made, or the identity or even sex of its maker.

Rugs traditionally are made by women and children, but we know that men, for example, have been making rugs in the refugee camps of Pakistan.

However, the participation in the rugsofwar blog by a dozen collectors worldwide has begun to indicate ways of solving some of these dilemmas.

We also don't know to what extent the rugs are made as commercial or domestic products, who the intended purchasers might be or the extent to which dealers may influence production.

But by exploring the images in collaboration with our readers, we can trace the evolution of various motifs, such as the increasingly abstracted appearance of helicopters or cruise missiles, and the integration of text in various languages.

The rugs produced in response to these tumultuous events may well constitute the world's richest tradition of war art of the late 20th and early 21st centuries, and yet there has been no significant engagement with the genre by contemporary art history and theory.

Blogging is never going to be a complete research tool in itself, but it has proven to be an invaluable resource in this new field of academic inquiry.

Cats + Interwebs = Perfect

2006-06-28T14:55:00.000+10:00

Go immediately to "Hitler Cats ! - A blog dedicated to cats who look like Hitler. " I nearly hurt myself laughing, and I think I may have frightened the bloke in the next office.

- via Miss TJ (who's still resting, and whose blog is still broken) and cute overload, where there is some bizarre conversation about glorifying Hitler. As if cats ever glorified anything other than themselves.

Categories coming soon

2006-06-28T12:02:00.000+10:00

On the top of my wishlist for Blogger was support for categories or labels to organize my posts. Came across this service, www.labelr.com, that lets me do that seamlessly. Check it out.

My view on this morning's world cup game

2006-06-27T12:06:00.000+10:00

Sadly it seems no more of these are available. Could've come in handy. Mind you, I thought that red card to Materazzi was harsh too.

The expression on Craig Foster's face after the game was just so miserable, I wanted to give him a big cuddle. Not for the first time, actually.
And he looks even better with the silver locks. Now, that's totty.

I am hardly the world’s biggest David Williamson fan, just so you know

2006-06-27T11:39:00.000+10:00

But remember his article in The Bulletin last year about a ghastly cruise he won at an auction? He said, after bagging out the avarice of his fellow cruisers:

“The pathetic “elites” should accept the ballot box wisdom of the aspirationals and stop their whining, say Paddy, Andrew, Piers and the boys. Perhaps if they spent time on a cruise ship they might start to question this belief.”

But Williamson also said that “Warmth and affection within families was genuine, and civility to other passengers was the norm. These were by and large affable people.” and he also talked about another, very enjoyable, cruise he had taken.

I didn't even think it was a particularly good article, but it riled up Piers Henderson-Bolt like you wouldnae believe. Responses to his article aren’t freely accessible online anymore, but there’s a summary here (scroll down to the “This month’s spotlight” section).

I wonder what the attack pack of “the boys” will have to say about "cruise culture" given some of the evidence of Kathleen Taylor, security manager of the Pacific Sky cruise ship at the inquest into the death of Dianne Brimble:

Ms Taylor also said it was common to see couples have sex in open spaces on the ship, and security encountered about 15-20 naked passengers every night.

She had once come across a passenger spiking another passenger's drink with extra alcohol, and had dealt with a number of women complaining they had been raped.

Poor, poor Mrs Brimble. And god knows who else.

I'm waiting to see how this is Teh Left's fault. I can't quite see it, but I'm sure Angela Shanahan can. Just have to wait and be told.

A major milestone

2006-06-23T11:44:00.000+10:00

Nah, not this one, although I'm still a bit shaky after watching it.

What happened was that someone asked what the offside rule meant - and I told them. It just came out all natural-like.

It's fucking cold!

2006-06-17T22:06:00.000+10:00

... as Sage announced after walking out of daycare one afternoon this week. We try to be very careful not to swear around him, but it's been so freezing I think he's hearing it everywhere.

The onset of real, proper cold seems much more sudden this winter. I'm stuck wondering - as I do every year - whether it's freakishly cold this year. It's not.

I got home from the farmers' market today and found Sage and Owen smashing up sheets of ice in the backyard for kicks (although I won the "who can hold their hand in the freezing ice slurry the longest" competition. By a loooong way). This disc of ice is from the dog's water bowl, which on some days this week stayed frozen all day.

Ma-ma! You gotta lotta esplainin' to do!

2006-06-14T15:05:00.000+10:00

One of my dearest friends in the whole wide world has recently found out she is pregnant, which is rather a surprise but a welcome one. As she said, she is 37 and if she waits any longer will no doubt have mongoloid twins. We talk like that amongst ourselves, you see, although I suppose I'm taking liberties by reporting it here.

Anyhoo, SHE IS ABOUT TO MAKE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE! One just pointed out to me when ~~having a good old gossip~~ sharing the happy news with a mutual friend. You see, if it's a girl, she plans to call her Daisy. I think Daisy is a fine name and very much suits the child's surname to be. BUT IT'S THE MIDDLE NAME! Now there is nothing at all wrong with the name "Inez"(or however it would be spelled). It's just that "Daisy Inez" sounds horribly like ...

Babalu indeed! So how should I tell her?

Infrequently asked questions

2006-06-09T13:47:00.000+10:00

When did brontosauruses start getting called "apatosauruses"? And why?

I'd never seen these "ancient Mexican sculptures" before - they provide amazing proof that dinosaurs and humans coexisted! In fact it is so amazing I find it impossible to believe, although I am prepared to accept the sculptures as evidence that (a) the hallucinogenic plant peyote is native to Mexico and/or (b) kids make kooky art.

Pick the correct Hilton Sisters

2006-06-08T17:01:00.000+10:00

An extract from Robert Bogdan's "Freak Show: Presenting Human Oddities for Amusement and Profit", a marvellous book I borrowed from Duckie's Best Beloved and have thoroughly enjoyed:

"As is typical of presentations in the aggrandized mode, the Hilton Sisters were presented as attractive, engaging celebrities who were exceptionally talented, charming, happy and normal in every way except for one physical inconvenience: in their case, being born joined at the buttocks."

Exhibit 1: Paris and Nicky

Exhibit 2: Daisy and Violet

one more sleep

2006-06-06T13:35:00.000+10:00

then one more day, then this job is finished.

Perhaps after that my brain and desire to write something will return.

We'll have to wait and see.

Shiny new blog!

2006-05-29T14:32:00.000+10:00

The very gifted Lucy Tartan has gathered together some of my favouritest Australian bloggers for Sarsaparilla, a group blog on the literary yartz.

Go bookmark it now!

Snippets

2006-05-29T14:02:00.000+10:00

Bit worn out at the 'mo, but I'm sure I'll think of something soon, or someone will piss me off sufficiently to blog about it.

Current front runner is Sydney's Daily Telegraph, which - despite 5000 dead after an earthquake in Indonesia and violent instability in East Timor - leads the front page with GAYCARE REVOLT. From the skerricks of actual information concealed deep in the article, it appears there's a daycare centre in Marrickville where the carers read "Heather has two Mummies" to the kids. The same book I offered to take to my son's daycare a couple of weeks ago - they're reading stories about all kinds of families because a couple of the kids' parents are separating. (Updated - according to the news, it's these - which I've read and think the froth mouthed ragers should too. And Georg has a terrific post up at LP, which has already attracted some of the "stop ramming homosexuality down my two year old's throat" comments the Telegraph is trying to encourage.)

By the way, if you want your marriage to last 30 years like Angela Shanahan's, there are some dos and don'ts. Short version: Don't root anyone else. Do root your husband.

Also, climbing mountains is dumb.

Can Angela Shananan really be so stupid as her columns seem to indicate?

2006-05-21T19:07:00.000+10:00

Canberra is a country town in may ways but we can hold our head high next to the big cities when it comes to mindless right wing newspaper commentary.

Angela Shanahan writes an opinion piece for the Saturday Canberra Times. Her husband is the Chief Political Reporter for The Australian. I normally don't mention this kind of thing, but as she bangs on about having dinner with the Howards and her nine children I thought I'd just pop it in for the hell of it.

Anyhoo, this week's article is titled "Ideology at fault for imperilling the lives of Aboriginal women and children". Shanahan was enraged by a Canberra Times editorial which said the situation could only be described as "a law and order issue" by "right-wing commentators and strict law and order advocates".

It is obviously a law and order issue to Angela - it's a straightforwad solution to a problem that doesn't have any other dimensions. It seems to me that there need to be more Police assisting Aboriginal communities, but having more Police isn't enough. For a start people need to be safe and supported to make complaints, to cope with giving evidence and dealing with Court experiences, to be prepared to lose a case or for an offender to be released. Saying "more cops" just doesn't cut it.

She winds up saying: "The notion of Aboriginal autonomy under the law and Aboriginal welfare in general has been for a long time dominated by the left - as if they invented the notion of self-determination and freedom."

Look mate, your team's been the frickin' government for ten (long) years, six of them after the horrifying report by Boni Robertson that you mention. The fact that so many Aboriginal people are living in such brutal abjection can't just be because TEH LEFT isn't satisfied that more cops is the whole answer.

My exciting news

2006-05-19T14:07:00.000+10:00

Still pinching myself occasionally when I think about my new job. I'm going to be working as a research assistant on a project setting up a database that will eventually become a wiki on the war rugs of Afghanistan. Blogging got me a job, kids!

I'm already finding out that some of the things I thought I knew about Islam and Islamic art are way off the mark. As illustrated by the Farsi inscription under this portrait of Khomieni, which says “They open the door of the drinking house and we go there day and night as we are sick of going to the mosque and the school.”

There's also a love poem in there, featuring sentiments like being “lovesick at the beauty of your eyes”. I haven't yet confirmed if they follow you 'round the room.

The project has its own blog, which is here; the image above is from a US site, warrug.com.

Silver Whining

2006-05-18T09:36:00.000+10:00

Oh, The Australian shits me sometimes. Today it's the whoppin' great cover picture of Richard Howard and some toothy chick in a red dress (nice red bra stickin' out of it, too). It's reported that Miss Fang "attracted more than her fair share of attention" at the White House do. I'm sure that has nothing to do with the fact that she's a pretty young woman in a tight red dress in a room full of crusty old conservative men. I also wonder what special White House protocol officer determines the appropriate ration of attention for each guest. Heh. I'd like that job.

One of my colleagues, a bona fide former debating champion, was more upset with The Australian calling Richard "a former debating champion" - "debating champion my arse!" was in fact the phrase she used. Apparently he was so cut at not making the debating "A" team one year he started his own debating society. And put himself on the A team. Which wouldn't be that tricky if you were the head of the student union.

Still, there's lots of happy news in the paper. Hello Brendan Nelson!

I don't like to say it, but onya Jackie Kelly

2006-05-15T09:21:00.000+10:00

I had wondered whether Jackie Kelly's last big splash in the Sun Herald on childcare a few months ago was a soften-up for some big long daycare news in the budget, but that was obviously not the case.

So I'm pleased to see her pushing the issue again yesterday, saying that Labor takes childcare more seriously (perhaps because there are women with young children in cabinet*), that Howard wants women at home with babies and that even some women who agree with him choose to work for one reason or another.

I'm not quite so sure about her view that improving childcare would lessen the divorce rate, but it's not a ridiculous comment in the context of the emotional and financial stresses that life with little kids can involve. Not to mention the horrible sinking realisation that you may have thrown that career down the toilet without realising what you've done. Little bit close to home, that last one.

* Weirdly, there are men with young children in Cabinet too, such as Lindsay Tanner, but somehow childcare is irrelevant to men's ability to work. It's not Jackie's fault. I blame Teh Patriarchy.

No lazy breakfast in bed for Mother's Day 'round here

2006-05-14T21:06:00.000+10:00

Something much better - my soccer team winning our first game for the season (after a loss and two draws).

It was also very good watching the woman I was marking get so cross she almost imploded.

Housekeeping

2006-05-11T12:39:00.000+10:00

ATTENTION: FOX NEWS BLOG SPAMMERS SECTION.

STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME.

I WILL CONTINUE TO EDIT YOUR FREAKIN' LINKS SO THEY DON'T WORK.

THE ONLY SPAM THIS BLOG HAS EVER RECEIVED IS FROM FOX NEWS.

I WOULD RATHER EAT SNOT THAN WATCH OR RECOMMEND FOX NEWS.

SO FUCK OFF.

shitty

2006-05-09T14:43:00.000+10:00

If her life was going to imitate thirdcat's art, it was disappointing for it to happen quite like this.

Rage piled upon fury

2006-05-05T13:35:00.000+10:00

In today's Australian- "PARENTS who sacrifice their lifestyles to send their children to private schools should be thanked and supported with tax incentives and childcare support, says Labor Party national president Warren Mundine."

As I have said before, STOP BANGING ON ABOUT "SACRIFICE".

IF THE GOVERNMENT HAS TO COMPENSATE YOU, IT IS NOT A FRICKIN' SACRIFICE.

.

Happy Camper

2006-04-29T22:43:00.000+10:00

Home today from a week camping on the far south coast. Bracing but fun. I'll put up a proper post later, but wanted to share the joy this sign brought my pedant's heart:

I'n not saying anything.

2006-04-23T21:01:00.000+10:00

You won't get a whisper out of me on this. Nup. Not me. And I thought we were skirting the boundaries with "Sage". Nahh. Jeeeesus farking Christ . Gaelan.

That is all. It has to be.

Big Brother 06 - Frequently Annoying Questions

2006-04-20T16:49:00.000+10:00

It's that time of year again - and as the excitement mounts, so does the incomprehension. For the benefit of fans of Big Brother who are weary of defending it, here are the answers to some of the Frequent Annoying Questions about it. I welcome further questions and answers and embellishments of all kinds.

1. Big Brother is crap

EG - the Australian Family Association says Big Brother is "banal sewage pumped into our living room", and that “While chennel 10 is making money, Big Brother can do no wrong. Now is the time to strile on censorship, Big Brother is the right battle, and the sponsors are the right targets.”

Sure it's crap. Of course it's generally banal. But try to pick your friends wisely - if you think AFA is taking time out of its busy abortion-opposing schedule for a one-off Big Brother campaign, think again. They like LOTS of censorship, and think “There is an urgent need to have mandatory filtering out of pornography by Internet Service Providers.”

Also, I find it difficult to accept being told what I should watch by someone who can’t spell or write proper. That might just be me.

2. "I have to say that I am really surprised (shocked?) that intelligent people of the type who post and comment at LP actually watch Big Brother."

Well, you should get out more.

3. You’re … you’re all hooked on BB trash!!

Probably. We do tend to get a little overexcited at the beginning of a new series, but familiarity eventually breeds contempt. Many of us get bored in the middle of the season, but get back into it by the end.

4. The housemates are stupid exhibitionists and you do them no favours by watching.

The housemates usually are stupid exhibitionists. Indeed, that is rather the point. A voyeuristic show based on cringing introverts doesn't have much in the way of va-va-voom, does it?

And you read blogs because of your deep aversion to voyeurism, right?

5. BB relies purely and simply on purient titillation and the standard conventions of soapie character identification.

Yeah, pretty much. We know this stuff. And We Still Like It.

6. It's not as good as (reality genre show of choice).

Survivor is better than BB. Temptation Island was also thoroughly excellent viewing. All other reality shows are more crap than BB.

Update: comicstriphero justifies her love, and here's my attempt at explaining the BB appeal from last year (comments are still there, haloscan just pretends you don't have any after a few months, even if you cough up for a premium membership)

Zoe blasts "rubbish" Prime Minister in Lodge

2006-04-20T15:34:00.000+10:00

"We need a curriculum that encourages an understanding of the high-quality literature and not the rubbish." - John Howard
Rubbish. We need a curriculum that teaches us to analyse, appreciate and understand.

Understanding - and comprehension and intellectual curiosity- are perhaps a little more than the Prime Minister can manage: "When asked about the West Australian Government's "outcome-based" education program, Mr Howard replied: "That is gobbledegook - what does that mean?"

"If I don't know about it, it's not worth knowing about" can now join the Prime Minister's favourite mantra "It wasn't me, you didn't see it, you can't prove a thing."

Update: Dr Faustus casts his elegant eye over the same idiotic pronouncement here. And have a sniff around while you're there, he's very good.

You knew it was coming

2006-04-13T22:15:00.000+10:00

Nah, not the resurrection! Or Passover! Though you're very wry ;)

It's Stuff on My Cat:

A ram's head snail, to be precise.

Rolling Vanstone?

2006-04-11T20:46:00.000+10:00

I haven't seen much of Julie Bishop, Minister for Education, Science and Training and (ahem) Minister Assisting the Prime Minister for Women's Issues before, but I saw Barrie Cassidy's interview with her on last week's Insiders. I thought she was vile, though Barrie seemed rather charmed.

I can see why she's being tipped for Big Things, as we slowly watch Amanda Vanstone get pushed further and further into the shadows. Bishop's very polished and knows her lines inside out. It's the Federal Government's job to ensure Parents Have Choice about their kid's education (by funding wealthy private schools). Any action necessary to make choice meaningful is the responsibility of the State Governments.

The Federal government is also happily responsible for Flags, Values, Anthem-Singing and Report Cards that Pull no Punches.

My favourite bit was this:

BARRIE CASSIDY: Brendan Nelson, of course, is keen on students singing the anthem and raising the flag. Do you have a passion in that area as well?

JULIE BISHOP: Well, every morning when I was at primary school we sang the national anthem and raised the school flag and it was something that I remember with some fondness. As I travel around Australia and visit schools the children seem to share that same pride in singing the anthem and putting up the flag. I think it's a wonderful thing.

BARRIE CASSIDY: I don't know if it's a daily thing, though. I think it's probably more common that it's done once a week in assembly.

JULIE BISHOP: Well, they certainly do it when I'm at their schools. Every time I visit a school we have a flag-raising ceremony and they sing the national anthem.

Most of the members of this Government really do seem to believe that the world is what they can see from their window.

Tony Abbott offers some media advice to Julie Bishop (a different one).

Infrequently asked questions

2006-04-11T19:04:00.000+10:00

Given my enormous affection for puns, why do I find myself screaming two paragraphs into anything written by or about Kathy Lette?

(The photo is from a R E Grant fan site. I've always been a fan, but not like The REGiment, whose fan art is everything you'd hope for.)

Fish Prank

2006-04-10T20:42:00.000+10:00

In the grand tradition of Stuff on my Cat, I bring you "Stuff in my fish tank":

Meanwhile, in the community sector

2006-04-07T14:19:00.000+10:00

My new workmate - let's call her Elena - is a hawt vegetarian lesbian lefty who buys me little liquid coffee chocolates and makes the wrapping paper into origami birds.

That's her in the background.

She's single, and likes Nordic blonde athletic types.

OMG! WTF! she whimpers bravely ...

2006-03-31T22:42:00.000+11:00

... have just realised that Sunday morning soccer is on at the same time as Insiders.

Dammit.

First pre-season game Sunday. Training sessions attended: 0 Impeccable excuses (really, seriously impeccable): 3

Feel the fear, and do it anyway.

Go Strikers!

Thrills, Kills and People on the Organising Committee who didn't Think Things Through

2006-03-26T21:00:00.000+11:00

I liked the flaming air guitarist, and I can even cop ballerinas in AFL themed tutus.

But it's wrong that Grinspoon, the poor man's Powderfinger and possibly Australia's most overrated band*, opened The Show at the Commonwealth Games closing ceremoany.

And did they have to be singing "Hard Act to Follow"? This is not only a Very Bad Song, but wildy inappropriate in every respect. The title is a lie, and as for the lyrics:

You're a hard act to follow,
Such a fine looking fellow.
I hear your belly is yellow,
You're a hard act to swallow.

It kinda makes me sick,
The way you turn those tricks.
C'mon and light it up,
I wanna feel the rush.

I'll be shooting for thrills when I walk out that door,
You say it's hard to care anymore.

Kills, thrills and Sunday pills woah,
I'm on a mission to kill, still, coz nothing thrills, no.

You're hooked on coke and hoochie,
I want my milk and cookies.
You know your wife looks pretty,
I think your wife looks pretty.

I'll be shooting for thrills when I walk out that door,
You say it's hard to care anymore.

Kills, thrills and Sunday pills woah,
I'm on a mission to kill, still, coz nothing thrills, no.

I'll be shooting for thrills when I walk out that door,
Don't turn around and say you need me anymore.
Popping pieces of pills up off the lounge room floor,
You say its hard to care anymore.

Kills, thrills and Sunday pills woah,
I'm on a mission to kill, still, coz nothing thrills, no.

In happier news, apparently Australia won lots of shiny things, so yay us. Heaps more than New Zealand, but that's certainly not news.

* Killing Heidi also a contender.

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, but at least I do not have worms

2006-03-21T14:08:00.000+11:00

I opened my email this morning to a message from a new friend:

Oh my God! You are the first Blog site person whose 'stuff' I have read- only because your site entry came up when I was searching for something entirely unrelated to you- threadworms in fact and I'll come back to that later.

And how it has opened my eyes! Are you serious? Do you think that anyone gives a shit about your 'stuff'? Do you not have a life? Well, I guess not as you think you look like Sade (yeah, right, if your thumbnail is you- my colleague thinks you are a guy in a dress, but I'm not that rude, there is a line) and of course you are Australian- take it from a Kiwi- being you and being Australian does not actually qualify you as anyone worth reading about and I am just so amazed (well not really as I always knew blogs/bloggers were totally anal (sorry, threadworm connection)) that you obviously think differently.

Dear me, I have never been so bored in my entire life. I would love to devote my entire lunch time to analysing your site, your pretentious use of English and your pseudocomedic sytle, but I feel that your egomaniacal and narcissistic tendencies would, to use more commas, find you, as a blogger, indifferent to such criticism and I'm fed up typing with a sandwich lodged in my mouth.

Getting back to the poor old threadworm- I fear that your life is less interesting than that of the average bottom dweller, so please, for the sake of Humanity, give up this quest to flood this World with your drivel and move on.

Please.

Pretty please.

Rigor (not my real name, but hey, I'm not a pretentious Blogperson)

This is probably a knee-jerk reaction to you bloody Aussies beating us in the pool/velodrome/games/ohshiteverything- don't worry, we like Bronze (and 4th...)

You know, I had guessed his name wasn't Rigor. It's a pretty brutal name to give a kid, and anyway the email said it was from "Peter Rees". As Peter said, he found me doing a search for "threadworm infestations new zealand". The 7th result google turned up is:

crazybrave: February 2006 I totally started masturbating as a result of a threadworm infestation - but let's ... and recent New Zealand research which he says "indicates there are ...

I hope he isn't touching his mouth after he's touched his bottom.

You'll never get rid of them that way, Peter.

In case you wondered what I actually look like ...

2006-03-15T15:15:00.000+11:00

Here I am:

I look very slightly more like this picture than the one below:

But this one is more accurate for seances.

Via TJ , aka Ms Carmen Electra, and this joint. You have to register first, but feel free to make that bit up like I did. A prize if you can guess who I got third.

Kiss you, Kate

2006-03-15T15:02:00.000+11:00

"It was a little death, not being able to make a tale out of the small moments of life and share them with someone for whom they were new."

Kate Grenville wins the Commonwealth Writer's Prize for fiction. The quote above is from her most recent novel, The Secret River, which you should just go out and buy and read immediately.

It appears that my ancient neighbour Kev is celebrating her win with some rousing John Denver tapes.

Suspicions of Corporate Idiocy Confirmed

2006-03-15T09:45:00.000+11:00

From last week's AFR "Boss" magazine, in an article talking about the appointment of a person to the role of "Head of Manufacturing" for the Customer Service and Operations division of the NAB:

"Adams says managers in particular were very accepting of the new program. Having already slashed staff and automated systems, they were "at their wit's end" when searching for new productivity gains, he says"

Oh dearie me

2006-03-12T10:24:00.000+11:00

Does anyone have a copy of "Football for Dummies" just sitting around? In a moment of foolish excitement, I appear to have joined a soccer team.

I am now thinking this may have been a mistake, mainly because:

I have never played soccer in my life.

I have no idea how to play soccer. I did play hockey for several years, but I was the goalie and as long as I kept the goals out no-one required me to know what else was happening.

I am quite unfit, and in general prefer this kind of thing to running about with a bunch of shouting women with spiky shoes on.

Aren't they scary?

I am looking on the bright side, reminding myself that there will be some quite excellent things about this whole plan, including changing that last point and being able to announce that I'm just popping up to the park for a round of keepy-uppy.

Excellent things my mum says:

2006-03-07T16:13:00.000+11:00

No. 1: "You can't shoot a man who was born to hang."

and how 'bout them pineapples, ay?

Sentence(s) of the Day

2006-03-05T16:30:00.000+11:00

The fact that I have recently read two really quite dreadful detective stories by Donna Leon* has made me hungry for a decent read. I found it at adelaide writer, where thirdcat says:

It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t one of those things she just made up so that she could talk to someone she liked, but didn’t know. What Adelaide said was true.

Isn't that just beautiful? Such grace and economy in expressing that observation, and such nuance in the observation itself. Not just how we (mothers of young children, prowling public spaces) sometimes search for another grown-up to talk to, but also that instant attraction to someone - I'd like to know more about you. There's a new woman in my mother's group that I'm drawn to that way.

* Worse than dreadful. Duck loaned them to me to read through the post-op drug fog, but sheesh. Lazy books. You couldn't make a movie out of them, because they don't even have a sub-plot. In a detective story! The only bloody red herring's for lunch, after risotto and before the stewed pears. But thanks, Duck. It's the thought that counts and all that. Still read all of both of them.

What? When? Where? Why? Who could possibly think so?

2006-03-03T10:45:00.000+11:00

Dr David Conley is a University of Queensland journalism teacher. "Journalism courses force-feed a shrinking market", his article in yesterday's media supplement in The Australian (not online), contained some mildly interesting stuff about media companies hiring cadets with a degree, but not necessarily one in journalism or communications.

But it also contained some real idiocy:

"After all, doctors and lawyers need certification to prowl someone's biological or legal innards. Anyone, in contrast, can declare themselves a journalist. The internet has accentuated this anomaly, with countless bloggers becoming instant reporters and publishers.

Anomaly? Perhaps they're busy being bloody bloggers and not everyone in the world wants to be a journalist? Not to mention there is a difference between declaring yourself to be something, and having that declaration accepted, said the Queen of Sheba in Canberra late yesterday afternoon.

But even better, was this next bit, utterly without trace of a supporting argument:

If it's important for medicine to be practiced only by professionals then it's even more important that journalism be held to similar standards," said Kerry Green, former president of the Journalism Educaiton Association and ahead of the University of South Australia's school of communication, information and new media.

Now of course journalists and media outlets can significantly affect people's rights - which is why there are defamation laws and conventions about what matters fall within the public domain - but this argument is so stupidly overstated it makes me think those media companies might be onto something in not requiring that their cadets have been trained by Dr Conley and his colleagues.

If you can't say anything nice ...

2006-03-01T18:48:00.000+11:00

Off for a bit

2006-02-27T21:02:00.000+11:00

After 28 months on the public hospital waiting list, I'm off to have a new ear drum fashioned out of something or other tomorrow.

It is some consolation for the delay that any rousing huzzahs! for ten years of Howard and his government will be inaudible through surgical wadding and Schedule 8 drugs.

huh?

2006-02-27T16:35:00.000+11:00

I bought Sage some sneakers today from a new shop in a new part of Canberra, lots of aspirational houses and plenty of kids. The woman was lovely, and chatty, and the shop is only six weeks old so she still seems excited by it all.

In the course of our chatting, she said she'd lived near where I do, but had moved to send her daughter to an (Anglican) school out there. It hadn't worked out, so her kid's back at a Christian school in this part of town.

She was a paleontologist before opening the shop, and said she has significant trouble with Bibilical timelines. "Would you believe," she said wide eyed, "they're still teaching Creationism there?"

I find that a lot easier to believe than why a scientist who is un-Christian enough to live in a de facto relationship would send her kid to be educated in creationism by a Christian school.

kinder surprise*

2006-02-24T18:12:00.000+11:00

It's a very good thing for a child to become more independent over time. Joyously, Sage is now out of nappies, only wearing pull-ups at night. For the blessedly ignorant, pull-ups are disposable absorbent undies that are way cooler than nappies and heaps easier to get your toddler into. (Of course they cost twice as much as the fanciest disposable nappies.)

I picked Sage up from day care this afternoon and found some mysteriously stained wipes in his bag. Then I took out his lunchbox and some undies and a poo fell out. Bless him, he'd had "an askident" and instead of telling one of the carers he'd gone to his bag, wiped his bum, changed his pants and chucked the disgusting ones and a turd in for Mum to deal with later. It's a good thing he's so cute (and affectionate):

I tell you this only because - judging from past experience at crazybrave - everyone loves a poo story.

* and I had to change the post title after my sister came out with this one. Too good to waste.

Sunday mornin' comin' down

2006-02-19T16:01:00.000+11:00

These people have no respect for the traditions that made our society great

2006-02-18T21:37:00.000+11:00

It's a bit rough to have spent a week telling your little guy he's GOING TO THE CIRCUS, only to get a call from the Circus the night before telling you that a performer has been injured and the show is NOT going on.

On the other hand, it's a whole extra week of pointedly asking "Do you want to go to the circus...?" every time that evil whingey tone makes an appearance.

The tribe has spoken

2006-02-16T14:10:00.000+11:00

RU 486 Bill passes the House of Reps.

Please extinguish your torch Tony, and leave the tribal council area immediately.

A big "thank you, sister!" to Senators Nash, Moore, Allison and Troeth. Email them your love like I just did. Email addy syntax is senator.surname@aph.gov.au

Clarification for the wilfully dense: last night at LP, Currency Lad accused this post at of demonstrating "what this is really about", ie getting up Tony Abbott. My reply on that thread is here.

But in case someone is cruising by and forms that impression, please be reassured that the only reason Abbott's face is up there is because he pushed himself front and centre into the debate, and characterised the result as a reflection on him.

Gillard was right - "It's not all about you, Tony." It's about reproductive medicine not having more regulatory burdens than other types of medicine, and about enabling the choices of women.

Shorter clarification: IT'S THE WOMEN, STUPID.

Howard to dismantle Public Service, Military

2006-02-15T12:35:00.000+11:00

Dateline: Canberra

"I don't hold the view that you should work hard, get into Parliament, cop all the opprobrium when something goes wrong but when it comes to decisions you hand it over to a bureaucrat."

On gentle dalliances

2006-02-13T21:13:00.000+11:00

The wrinklies were in town over the weekend, which means vast quantities of newspaper flooding the house. I'm more of an online newspaper reader these days, so it's very unusual for me to read the Monday Canberra Times. I'm glad I did, because I discovered bookcrossing. Trust me to find the one little article that was about an online community.

Bookcrossers leave books in public places (releasing them "into the wild") with a ID sticker which has a unique number. They ask for the book to be found, and read, and passed on, or not, as you wish. About a quarter of the released books are "captured" by people who leave journal entries at the site, and there are designated drop zones and of course some Serious Fans. They leave them in parks, and laundromats, on benches and in bookshops.

If you want to go hunting near you, have a look here .

I tried to find one released yesterday near my house, but there was only an empty wine bottle and a single sneaker. Sad, because I had great plans for the copy of "Thank God I'm An Atheist - The Religious Origins Of Expressions, Customs" by Rudolf Brasch which had been left outside the Dickson Baptist Church.

I filled up a carton of books a little while ago for a joint garage sale Duck and I are going to have, but I think we might have to set some of them free. Perhaps for Valentine's Day I will liberate "Guide to Sexual Success" by W F Robie, MD.

Hard to part with a book that prescribes masturbation as the cure for the world's evils, though, unless there's a particularly brilliant suggestion where I should leave it? I'll give you an idea of the tone to get you in the mood:

"We must either see to it that all normal people have sex manifestations in sleep, varying in frequency, perhaps as a rule from once a month to three times a week, or we must provide some other remedy for those who have none, or practially none, of these manifestations. I have no hesitancy whatever in naming autoeroticism as the only possible remedy consistent with morals, health, self-respect, and social betterment, for this latter class"

You see why I like him, huh? Only writer in the world more wedded to the comma than I am.

"From about the time of her marriage she had a feeling of curiosity and repulsion in regard to male genitals. She told her husband of this, and he was careful not to expose himself before her. If her husband or one of her boys or a male guest went to the bathroom to urinate, she had a feeling of disgust and a strong erotic feeling. At the age of seventeen, she awoke one night having violent sensations immediately culminating in an orgasm."

Can that man segue or what? This next is from the good doctor's sexual history survey for his patients:

"5. Did you, as a child, masturbate? If so, was the habit taught you or was it done of your own volition? If taught, under what circumstances? If not, what led to its beginning? Did threadworms, friction of clothing, sliding down bannisters, itching of prepuce, or any other irritation of glans penis or clitordis [fully sic], or any other ascribable cause other than instinct lead to it?"

Freaky! I totally started masturbating as a result of a threadworm infestation - but let's talk about you.

Finally, some serious advice:

"I have talked with but three married women out of several hundred, who did not delight in having their husbands gently hold their breasts and kiss or titillate their nipples. This is often a sufficient preliminary to intercourse if followed for ten or fifteen minutes, but the majority of wives also wish their husband's hands in gentle dalliance with their more private parts before intercourse."

Doctor knows best, right ladies?

What I said

2006-02-12T22:27:00.000+11:00

Dear Members

I write to encourage you to vote to regulate the drug RU 486 through the TGA.

I had a miscarriage in 2003*, and was advised I didn't need a D&C. It turned out, several weeks later, that I did. I had to wait nearly a month to access a D&C through the public hospital system. I couldn't afford to do it privately, so I ended up with weeks more heavy bleeding and pain, not to mention distress. Perhaps using RU 486 under my GP's supervision would have saved me that? I hope it could assist someone in a similar situation.

I understand that enabling the TGA to regulate RU 486 means that it prescribes - as it does for other medications - the safe manner in which it is able to be used. I believe that if this system is adequate for all other therapeutic goods and medications, it should be good enough for RU 486. If it isn't, what are we going to do about the TGA? Similarly, if we need to revisit what community standards are about access to terminations of pregnancy, let's do it directly.

I urge you to use your conscience vote to allow Australian women to exercise their own consciences. Please support the Bill.

Sincerely

* A mistake, it was 2004.

TALLY BOARD:

Peter Lindsay, Liberal, Qld - agrees.
Louise Markus, Liberal, NSW - all email answered with snail mail letters - please send address. I did, but said I wasn't seeking a formal reply.
Trish Draper, Liberal, SA - it is still a matter of conjecture whether this method of abortion is even safe [that's why the TGA will be required to evaluate it - Ed]. Will not be supporting the Bill.
Kim Wilkie, Labor, WA - current scheme is unworkable, and is affecting those seeking to use RU 486 to treat cancer.
Julia Irwin, Labor,NSW - agrees.
Tony Windsor, Independent, NSW - non committal thanks for sending message.
Wilson Tuckey, Liberal,WA - same reply Kate got, see comments.
Kelly Hoare, Labor, NSW - supporting the Bill.
Alan Cadman, Liberal, Vic - RU 486 is unique, possibly dangerous and he will not be supporting the Bill. He attaches a soon-to-be-published article which states that the TGA admits it is unqualified to make determinations about the drug, refers to research from our old mates the Southern Cross Bioethics Institute, and recent New Zealand research which he says "indicates there are long-term psychological consequences of having an abortion". Don't agree of course, but he has paid me the courtesy of a detailed (if standard) reply which actually sets out his views - as did Kelly Hoare, btw.
Jill Hall, ALP, NSW - supports the Bill.
Lindsay Tanner, ALP, Vic - says "Australia’s longstanding system of having scientific experts, not politicians, make decisions about the availability of drug"

RU 486

2006-02-10T09:52:00.000+11:00

From Amanda Vanstone's speech yesterday:

I note, incidentally, that some of the churches who are opposed to any form of abortion can somehow come to the concept of what is referred to as a 'just war'. I am at a loss to marry the two. If you can come to a view that there can be a just war, why can there never be a just abortion? I cannot see it, and I have never had it answered.

I can tell you why, Senator Vanstone. It’s because men decide what a just war is, and a woman decides if she wants to continue a pregnancy.

I’ve emailed all the Senators who voted in favour of the Private Members’ Bill to thank them - except Vanstone and Hill, who as Ministers don’t have public email addresses . The other addresses are here

Over the weekend I’ll be writing to all the Members of the House of Reps. Their addresses are here. Please join me.

And wasn't Abbott crap on the 7:30 Report last night? No time right now to go too far into why, but hopefully I'll get a chance to get the full body fisking suit out later.

Cross posted at Womens' Forum Australia.

Heads up

2006-02-07T09:22:00.000+11:00

If you missed RN's "Background Briefing" on Sunday at 9 am, the excellent program on "Labour in Crisis" is repeated tonight just after 7 or downloadable.

Do yourself a favour, kids.

And in the spirit of disclosure employed to great effect at the beginning of the show, I'll tell you all that the presenter is an old mate. But it's still good.

"Before"

2006-02-06T15:52:00.000+11:00

Our new cat rocks.

* And I would like to remind anyone with taste issues re: floorcoverings that we are renting, and this house has some other lovely features. Like feature walls. Sometimes four of 'em to a room.

Austrayan Values: a sense of bollocks

2006-01-30T22:07:00.000+11:00

I was quite inspired by the Prime Minister's Austraya Day address on history. In fact, I came over all Melleuish.

After reflecting, I decided that our plans to celebrate the beginning of the ~~asian~~ lunar new year in fact were a black armbanded slur on this magnificent country. So we went to the show in Bungendore, a little town just north of Canberra, secure in the knowledge that we were contributing to the continuation of our shared Judeo-Christian British culture. I found it quite enlightening, and the Prime Minister's words sprang unbidden into my head as I wandered.

There is much in American society which I admire, but I have long held the view that the absence of an effective safety net in that country means that too many needy citizens fall by the wayside.

Indeed. No one will flog yer bundy while you're stonkered at 11 am at a country show. And don't you find a sense of balance is often best accomplished when supine?

I said that Australia’s crowning achievement, borne of its egalitarian tradition, was its social cohesion. I still believe that.

And it's true. Everyone hates a frickin' pipe band.

Australians, whatever their background, deserve to be treated with tolerance and with respect.

Except the dog fanciers. They're weird.

What's more, since we're now rid of the oppressive yoke of political correctness, I am free to include this photo solely to point out that there were a large number of midgets hanging around this dog. Three is a large number of midgets to casually encounter, right?

As I’ve said before, as a Government we are willing to meet the Indigenous people more than half way on this road.

And they will not fear us, as we will be bearing cuddly tokens of comfort and esteem.

Within limits, all Australians have the right to express their culture and beliefs and to participate freely in our national life.

Upper class gits can now roam free, dressed as once they would only be in private. Except those in Parliament, who shall continue to wear suits in public.

Nor should it be at the expense of ongoing pride in what are commonly regarded as the values, traditions and accomplishments of the old Australia.

Like that great spirit of enterprise and ingenuity that led some cobber to fashion an Anzac rising sun out of antique sheep drenching equipment, right?

And too often, history, along with other subjects in the humanities, has succumbed to a postmodern culture of relativism where any objective record of achievement is questioned or repudiated.

Here, I begin to falter, fearing that this could endanger the "every entrant wins a prize" philosophy that makes the country show the joy it is.

Because what will happen to vegetable sculpture in an open market?

And if the winner of the 70 years and older category isn't productively filling her time with making Miss Havisham dolls what horrors might befall those idle hands?

But then I remembered - to grasp what I mean when I say that Australia occupies a unique intersection of history, geography, culture and economic circumstance is quite simple. Simply look at what we do.

Simply. Look. In fact I dare you to not stare at this strangely compelling shiny silver elf in early labour.

We have great cause for optimism, if we keep our balance.

Sometimes, that's trickier than you'd think.

Welcome to the Coalition of the Gulling(TM).

Hope springs

2006-01-30T20:26:00.000+11:00

There's a lot of whinging about the calibre of ALP candidates, largely because many of them are crap. So I was very sad after the last ACT election that we'd missed out on electing the magnificent Mike Hettinger by 300 or so votes. It took days for the count, and there was much biting of nails and bemoaning that I had only discovered Mike the night before the election, preoccupied as I was with the federal election the week before.

Time passes and you get on with things, of course. But excitingly, ACT Treasurer Ted Quinlan (yes, we have one) has resigned. The way things work in the ACT, all votes that counted for Ted (and only those) get recounted.

Yes! We may yet find ourselves with a Jesuit-educated Soviet-saving greenie peace-loving decorated war veteran rocket scientist romantic in the Assembly. Who has fundraising costumed pirate cruises on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Join me in sending your good vibes Mike-wards!

If he wins, I'm buying him a new tie to celebrate.

All over including the shouting

2006-01-30T17:17:00.000+11:00

Results are up in the Australian Blog Awards, and congratulations to all the winners.

Email of the day

2006-01-25T13:04:00.000+11:00

I wonder what Janette's thinking?

New Parliamentary Secretary for Pissing from Inside the Tent

2006-01-24T20:48:00.000+11:00

The Parliamentary Secretary to the Prime Minister and for Water Policy holding hands with the Prime Minister. I didn't even have to make that up.

The Reshuffle Bingo book is now running, comrades. Even money that Brendan Nelson floats the idea of compulsory national service within the next two years. Suggestions for other interesting wagers are solicited. The new Ministry list is available for inspiration here.

For namesakes

2006-01-24T08:46:00.000+11:00

By popular demand*, a report of the latest goings on in the menagerie.

Firstly, Miss Elizabeth Bennet has been Sent To The Country. She had gone horribly broody, which was a pain because she kept sitting in the box when the others were trying to lay. The big boofers just layed on top of her, but the lowest in the pecking order, Miss Ginger Rogers, got horribly hen-pecked.

So it was orf to the country for the uncharacteristcally nasty Miss Bennet. She's gone to Mr Darcy's chook pen, believe it or not, but appears to have hooked up with Colonel Fitzwilliam instead. Here's a picture of them together. Poor Lizzie.

Could be worse. Darcy is a Plymouth, and about two and half times the size of Fitzwilliam.

Secondly, and more cheerfully, we have rescued a poor lost pusscat from the RSPCA. Kids, meet Mischa.

Mishca likes the fishies. A lot. It's just as well they're in water.

According to my name origin book, Mischa is a diminuitive of Michael and thus means "Who is like God?" I think we've found a much more apt name for her than we did for poor Lizzie.

* yes, really.

Creative Genius

2006-01-20T11:02:00.000+11:00

I drove past a bus on the way to work and saw a huge ad for "Ease a Cold", aka uppers for people with a sniffle. It had a sluggish tortoise being roundly beaten by an athletic bunny, and the tag line "We're the Hare!"

Have another line, dudes. The hare lost.

Things What I Have Read In Garbage Magazines

2006-01-18T18:57:00.000+11:00

Yes, it's a new series! lately Mum has taken to giving me things and saying "there has to be a blog post in that", which is very kind, don't you think? (I am enormously glad that poor old Mum wouldn't even know how to turn a computer on, btw, but she knows blogging makes me happy and she likes that. Love you too, Mum.)

Anyhoo, Mum has made a new friend on her morning constitutional. Her friend lives next door to a newsagent who rips the cover off unsold magazines and gives them to her (I think they only need send the cover back for the sale-or-return thingo). So I have acquired a pile of quality magazines that are totally without merit of any kind, except insofar as they provide blogfodder.

Our first entry is from the August 2005 Girlfriend, tagline "Australia's Best Girls Mag". Jeez the others must be crap. There are almost no articles, just lots of scraps of text in little boxes. Also there is much pink. The best section is called "How Embarrassment" and features humiliating anecdotes allegedly penned by teenyboppers desperate to win an outfit from one of those shops that makes all their clothes a size 4.

My second fave (and I only made up the italicised bits):

Dropped for droppings, from Poo Head of Wangaratta

My crush and I were going on a date when we decided to find a spot at the park. As we were sitting down, an extremely large bird (an albatross?) flew past, leaving its markings on my face. My crush was disgusted and left me alone in the park covered in poo (well, who's to say that wasn't his intention in the first place?)

Rather good, I thought, but no match for:

Pooper Scooper, from Grotty of Curtin

I was over at my BF's house and we were talking about taking our relationship (heh) to the next level. I was down to my knickers (which I agree makes the conversation really flow) when all of a sudden they felt wet and heavy. I'd just experienced a bad case of diahorrea and some of it landed on his bed. I quickly scooped it up with my hand and apologised. Needless to say we never took our relationship to the next level. (which is good, isn't it, because I think we'd all agree that coprophilia is really one step too far until you're a proper grown-up. Who does their own washing.)

Coming soon: Wild Deer and Hunting Adventures, Spring 2005

It's a very nice thing to do

2006-01-16T16:30:00.000+11:00

to buy your little boy some goldfishies. However it is wise to keep an eye on him for a few days, particularly if his mate comes over and they disappear for a suspicious length of time and you can hear none of the usual hilarity/tragedy.

This is what a fish tank looks like just after an entire container of fish food has been tipped in it by two eager three year olds:

1 fishie, 1 snail down. 2 fishies, 1 snail with an uncertain prognosis.

Blog Awards

2006-01-14T17:28:00.000+11:00

This year's nominees list is up at Collective Apathy, who are hosting for Vlado of Keks. Careful, you can lose hours of your life before you even notice they've flown by.

Unlike those other ones a while ago, these ones are (a) not a marketing exercise for a blog hosting company and (b) you don't win ten grand, you win the infinitely preferable nice warm feeling inside(TM).

Meme-ing on a sunny afternoon

2006-01-14T14:10:00.000+11:00

Pavlov's Cat has tagged me with a "Meme of Fours". Lovely afternoon time waster, bless you PC.

Four jobs you've had in your life:

Prosecutor of naughty doctors and nurses. That was a VERY good job.
ESL teacher.
Senior Investigation Officer.
Report writer at the Police Integrity Commission. I have to kill you now I've told you that. Sorry.

Four movies you could watch over and over:

Withnail & I
Nashville (or any other Robert Altman film)
Matewan (or many other films John Sayles has had a hand in. Not "Piranha" though. Once was enough for Piranha.)
Clueless

Four places you've lived:

Sao Jose dos Campos in Brazil.
New Farm in Brisbane.
Enmore in Sydney.
Downer in Canberra. Heh.

Four TV shows you love to watch:

The Insiders
Star Trek - TNG, of course
Big Brother. Yes, really, don't be tiresome about it.
Random ABC cooking shows.

Four places you've been on holiday:

New York
Uluru
Las Vegas
Mimosa Rocks National Park

Four websites you visit daily:

Gmail
Bloglines
Lavatory Rodeo
ABC politics - which today makes me think about why it may have been that Craig Emerson couldn't keep a hold of Julia Gillard. Check the Trumptastic do:

I don't know that I could wake up to that every morning either.

Four of your favorite foods:

White peaches
All leafy green things
Panfried butterflied sardines with lemon and garlic
Tallabung pork (I picked up a whopping great shoulder of it at the Farmer's Market this morning. Happy Zoe.)

Four places you'd rather be:

In bed.
At the beach.
In the bush.
With old friends who live a long way away.

Four Play:

Ampersand Duck
Amanda
Coz
and Fyodor the Blogless

Summernots

2006-01-06T20:09:00.000+11:00

My darling Pammy and I had planned to take our three year olds to Summernats this year, but she rooned that plan by cruelly moving to Brisbane. *sniff*

Undeterred, I hatched a scheme to pop my Summernats cherry today with my mate Ross. We had planned to make an anthropological excursion but as he disappeared out our front door with a scary gleam in his eye on Friday night and hasn't been heard from since I think I will wait 'til next year and go on the Saturday - Sunday's events are mostly presentations, although we did hear some roaring late this morning (it's held about one and a half k from our place).

There's plenty of fun to be had outside the compound of course, driving around behind cars like this one:

with a couple of nice looking kids in the backseat. Wonder what they think it means?

It's also been tops spotting the funnies, like the crappy old car with half a dozen toilet rolls covered in foil stuck on the bonnet, or the slightly flasher one with "Not for sale" and a mobile number written on the window.

Last night Sage had a sleepover at my Aunty Tiser's, so we rode our pushies down Northbourne Avenue just as the cruising hotted up. I highly recommend this, as it provides an opportunity to follow particularly groovy cars into hotel parking lots, befriend the charming owners and be invited to HAVE SITS IN THEIR COOL CARS!!! This one's numberplate is "PUBCAR". Give 'em a wave for me if you pass by.

Then we rode to Canberra Hoon Central, aka Braddon. We went to Debacle, and scored a prime kerbside table. We ate yummy seafood pizza and drank giant Erdinger beers and tekillya and got to enjoy the parade without the bosoms rampant. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Here are some entertaining, if not quite rampant, bosoms kindly offered for photography:

I tried to take a picture of the excited baby hanging out the window of a parked car, eyes huge, but it was too dark. However there were many beautiful and entertaining vehicles, and numberplates. Owy's favourite was this one:

This one I found a bit unsettling. Personally I'd want something a bit flashier than a Commodore for that particular deal:

Glen Fuller has posted some thoughts and some triffic photos too.

For the dedicated, the official site photos are here.

The bogans are coming! The bogans are coming!

2006-01-04T09:36:00.000+11:00

I used to whinge about Summernats, but I saw the error of my ways and came to utterly heart it. One sleep to go, and the engines are already throbbing.

On a somewhat tangential point, they say you can't tell whether an adult was breastfed or artificially fed just by looking at them, but I'm not so sure. What do you think?

Update: if you're thinking of driving into Canberra from the north tonight, you'd probably want to know that there's about 30 cops pulling every single car off the highway for tough-but-fair looks, random hoon checks and general demonstrations of territorial supremacy. A 15 year old beige Camry sedan with local plates seems to get you waved through.

Too Much Information

2005-12-23T23:00:00.000+11:00

Parents, husbang and child all asleep, and I've been reading blogs, finishing the wine and periodically throwing myself in the new supersonic 10 ft round blow up pool in the backyard. I saw the "five weird things about me" meme at Pavlov's Cat and Moment to Moment and couldn't resist:

1. Sometimes, if it is really extremely hot, I have been known to put my foot in the toilet and flush it. I developed this habit shortly after I moved to Brisbane in a mid-nineties summer , having lived in Canberra for five years before that. I know this habit is weird because of the look on the husbang's face when he told his mother about it.*

2. I get very cut if people don't move out of the way of emergency vehicles with sirens on. I acknowledge there is a small chance that they are in a hurry because the doughnut shop is about to shut. But I don't think we can have a civil society where people obstruct emergency vehicles, even misguided ones.

3. I call cotton buds "ear sticks" and use really enormously large quantities of them. I am having an operation soon which will hopefully render this uneccessary.

4. If my car doesn't start - which is not infrequent - I rub my palms together so that the energy points in their middle heats up and put them on the bits of the dash that I feel need it, and ask it to start. Mostly it works.

5. At least a couple of times a week I am so overcome by joy to be with my son, and at the person he is, that I start weeping. At the time of writing, he appears psychologically undamaged by this. He really is that cool a kid it would bring you to tears to be his mother.

OK, really am going on holiday now.

* Luckily I was able to maintain my dignity by retaliating with a habit of of his which I found to be something of an argument-settler.

Merry EndofYearMass

2005-12-23T09:51:00.000+11:00

See you in a little while. Happy Holidays to all. Remember to think of the children and be kind to each other.

Here's what are now called "Christmas dogs" in our house. They are apparently related to Santa in some fashion we've yet to determine.

Disgust on demand

2005-12-15T11:04:00.000+11:00

How boring is it, during a stoush, to continually be required by other commenters to denounce particular acts or views? For the sake of convenience, I now provide the following:

Also available in "The Left".

If you are one of the two or three people who haven't had their turn yet, the image generator is here.

Note to self

2005-12-11T21:05:00.000+11:00

Re: packing

When going somewhere 4 hours drive away for the weekend to attend a big do with the outlaws, remember to pack:

- underpants for self
- child's clothes, toothbrush, pyjamas, undies, hat, copy of "Dinosaur Roar", etc.

This will smooth your journey considerably.

Treasure

2005-12-07T21:42:00.000+11:00

Thank God Peter Costello is turning out to be such a gigantic pussy.

Quick! Look, up there! It's the ambition of a frustrated man!

Kimmy! Look at moiye!
Get it right Kimmy!
Don't fuck it up!

New blogs I am enjoying, and suggest you do too

2005-12-01T12:19:00.000+11:00

There's the charming and incisive Pavlov's Cat, former Psephite comicstriphero going solo and the beginning of Mindy's journey to build a house in a new town,Blog on the Landscape.

Do yourself a favour, kids.

They are always with us, but the truth will set them free

2005-12-01T11:07:00.000+11:00

I don't usually get to watch Lateline since having a child has ruined me for late nights. But after Bumblebee-sitting last night while Ampersand Duck went out to celebrate her wedding anniversary*, I caught Lindsay Tanner pointing out something sensible and important. Talking about the appropriateness of Rob Gerard's appointment to the RBA while his company was involved in a massive and prolonged tax dispute, he said:

There's a really fundamental question of values here, Tony, and it's at the core of the Liberal Party and it goes back a long way, and that is that there's a blind spot about tax avoidance by rich people. They reckon it's OK for rich people like Rob Gerard to get away with whatever they can get away with, it's just all part of the game. We had it when John Howard was Treasurer, with bottom-of-the-harbour schemes, and they think that's alright. There's a deep vein of attitude in the Liberal Party that that sort of thing is OK, yet ordinary hardworking Australians are getting taxed till the pips squeak and they don't care about people like Mr Gerard getting appointed to the Reserve Bank board while they're in the middle of a giant tax scam case.

It's the core of my rejection of vile Toryism - it's all about making room for people to become hugely wealthy. It's not about ensuring no-one has to be poor. (Obviously my heart doesn't bleed for AWE taxpayers like Tanner's does. The needs of people poorer than them is what weighs on me.)

You can see the same attitude in the assertion made by John Humphreys who proposes, through the CIS, a new tax plan which deals with the issue of high effective marginal tax rates at the lower end of the scale but at the expense of a minimum wage protection.

I offer no apology. We distribute more of our welfare budget to the poorest 30 per cent of households than almost any other country, and support for groups like single parents is generous by international standards.

A slightly lower welfare payment is a small price to pay for better incentives, more job opportunities, fewer bureaucratic hassles, a stronger economy and higher long-run living standards. If cutting unemployment benefits seems inequitable, how much more inequitable is it to continue with the current policies that keep people unemployed?"

A slighter lower welfare payment can cruel a kid's chance to go on an excursion at school. A low wage shit conditions job doesn't help them much either.

* While Ms Duck is an exemplary mother, I am considering reporting her to the welfare for allowing an 8 year old boy to go to sleep every single night listening to Queen. Every. Single. Night.

The funnies

2005-11-24T22:37:00.000+11:00

Go read loadedog's "cruel and intuitive punishment" post. It'll help.

Stupidity in the service of Good

2005-11-24T10:41:00.000+11:00

Sometimes I think it would be really cool if the husbang also blogged, but I guess we would fight over the computer.

Here, though, is a little side project he dreamt up last night when he realised he hasn't asked anyone to sponsor his Movember team - it's MoChoices.

(Movember asks blokes to grow a moustache in November and be sponsored to raise money for the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia. And yeah, I did think about making a dirty sanchez joke but words failed me.)

you're freakin' kiddin' me!

2005-11-18T11:51:00.000+11:00

Ducky and I and our blokes are going to see the Jim Rose Circus tonight. If I catch the blue condom (or if Owen does, let's be realistic here) what do you think I should ~~do with~~ ask Former Porn Star Amber Pie in my alloted 30 minutes?

Ducky's excellent post of the night's adventures is here.

Live your dream # 3 - I can't believe it's not Herbie Hancock!

2005-11-18T11:47:00.000+11:00

Being cool is not the most important thing, not by a long shot. However, all other things being equal, being cool is cool.

F'rinstance, imagine waking up in the morning and being this cool:

Go on, just imagine it:

The revolution will not be run outta a call centre

2005-11-14T20:39:00.000+11:00

I hope you're all ready for tomorrow's National Day of Community Protest at the travesty that is about to befall our industrial relations system. I probably won't be able to go as I'm a bit crook and child wrangling, but the husbang will be there.

In Canberra, venue is the Betting Hall at the Race Course in Mitchell (and Fair Conditions out of Sense of Decency is almost certain to be scratched - sorry, can't help self). Buses will be leaving from Platform 8 in Civic from 8 am. Details for your town are here.

We've been getting heaps of telemarketing calls, so when the phone rang just as the husbang was putting Sage in the bath, I was ready to just tell them no and hang up as usual. But they used his first name, and when I asked told me that it was his union (also mine, the CPSU). I assumed - as you would - that they were calling to rev up the troops for tomorrow; even Sage's kindy calls the day before dress up day to remind you.

But no - there's a union election on. No mention of the Protest. He told them to cross my name off the list, same household. So when they called half an hour later for me, he asked why they weren't at least piggybacking a "see you tomorrow!" into the conversation. Because they are in Brisbane, and don't know the local details. sigh. But they can get you a cheap plasma screen, according to last week's mail.

Update: Ducky reports on the rally in Canberra. Hopefully the Loadedog will have some photos later on - he has some interesting snippets from the last day or so about federal agency employees being subject to scare tactics about attending the rally.

Selling the sizzle and not the sausage

2005-11-12T21:54:00.000+11:00

I had a little operation last week - and thank you so much Steev, for sending me prize winning illustrations of the particular procedure I had. A much more appropriate gift was a big fat Cosmo magazine from my friend Rach. (She hadn't even opened the sealed section to see if she could tell just by looking at people in the buff who their partner was and what they liked to do in bed. I got most of the couples right, but who can pick a lap dancing freak from a marathon foreplay vanilla crew at first glance?)

I read one of these magazines about once every five years, and thoroughly enjoy it. A gutful of excellent medication and this one was going swimmingly - until page 179 when I saw this:

I am no genius with the scanner, so you'll have to take my word for it that you have only until 30 December 2005 to fashion a Christmas decoration from a Libra tampon and email them a picture. You could win a $500 shopping voucher! They don't say where from, but I'm guessing probably not Bunnings. In case you're very keen and artistically and seasonally minded, you can send your creation to libraangel@sca.com

Of course this is an utterly stupid campaign, but I will say one thing in their favour. At least they're not stuck up cunts.

* Further astonishment at the mysteries of marketing can be had at For Battle, and thanks to anti ob for the ready made post title!

Live your dream - the delightful Ampersand Duck

2005-11-05T14:43:00.000+11:00

It is my great pleasure to bring you the second in a very special series "Live your dream".

Now I don't know what you think about Nana Mouskouri, but I think she's a fucking legend. I missed her recent show in Canberra, which was dumb, but my best mate was getting married a long way away so it wasn't for lack of desire.

Other people have different attitudes, particularly those who for years and years have been cruelly taunted with cries of "Nana!" by their families. Like Ampersand Duck, who was so tortured by this type of brutality she ensured years of 1980's country hair salon perms.

Of course, we all grow up and out of these things. Just look at her now!

A question for Mr Charles Murray

2005-10-31T19:54:00.000+11:00

Hi. I heard you this afternoon on Michael Duffy's program on the radio, talking about oppressed academics telling things to the media they didn't believe in private, amongst their professional colleagues. You wrote that book "The Bell Curve".

Now tell me, if blokes are such geniuses at visual and spatial orientation, why can't they find their way around a shopping mall then? Ever? (With the possible exception of the ones with gay brains?)

R.I.P Klaw

2005-10-31T18:30:00.000+11:00

Mr Klaw 1994 - 2005
A really nice little cat.

Wine glut

2005-10-30T23:03:00.000+11:00

Apparently, Australia is suffering a massive wine glut and vignerons everywhere are in despair.

So why can't I buy reliable good cheap plonk, then?

Please feel free to tell me where I'm going wrong.

crazybrave has moved to http://crazybrave.net/

MORE EXCITED THAN BIG KEV EVER WAS BEFORE HIS UNFORTUNATE (NOT TO MENTION UNTIMELY) RECENT PASSING!!!!

Morning email from Owy:

Book 'em

Infrequently asked questions

Owen watches the opening episode of Australian Idol 4

No really, you're too kind

Then as farce ...

Up there for thinkin'

Budding enthusiasm

Dear Sage

We shall fight *coughs* in the fields and in the streets!

"You're not allowed to say it, but I'm saying it."

Infrequently asked questions

Because the White belongs to lovers!

Angela Shanahan continues to get it wrong, but at least it won't be stuffing up my Saturday morning anymore

Remember the olden days, when humans used to answer the phone?

Some thoughts on Peter Costello

Rug (and blog) nerds ahoy

Cats + Interwebs = Perfect

Categories coming soon

My view on this morning's world cup game

I am hardly the world’s biggest David Williamson fan, just so you know

A major milestone

It's fucking cold!

Ma-ma! You gotta lotta esplainin' to do!

Infrequently asked questions

Pick the correct Hilton Sisters

one more sleep

Shiny new blog!

Snippets

Can Angela Shananan really be so stupid as her columns seem to indicate?

My exciting news

Silver Whining

I don't like to say it, but onya Jackie Kelly

No lazy breakfast in bed for Mother's Day 'round here

Housekeeping

shitty

Rage piled upon fury

Happy Camper

I'n not saying anything.

Big Brother 06 - Frequently Annoying Questions

Zoe blasts "rubbish" Prime Minister in Lodge

You knew it was coming

Rolling Vanstone?

Infrequently asked questions

Fish Prank

Meanwhile, in the community sector

OMG! WTF! she whimpers bravely ...

Thrills, Kills and People on the Organising Committee who didn't Think Things Through

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, but at least I do not have worms

In case you wondered what I actually look like ...

Kiss you, Kate

Suspicions of Corporate Idiocy Confirmed

Oh dearie me

Excellent things my mum says:

Sentence(s) of the Day

What? When? Where? Why? Who could possibly think so?

If you can't say anything nice ...

Off for a bit

huh?

kinder surprise*

Sunday mornin' comin' down

These people have no respect for the traditions that made our society great

The tribe has spoken

Howard to dismantle Public Service, Military

On gentle dalliances

What I said

RU 486

Heads up

"Before"

Austrayan Values: a sense of bollocks

Hope springs

All over including the shouting

Email of the day

New Parliamentary Secretary for Pissing from Inside the Tent

For namesakes

Creative Genius

Things What I Have Read In Garbage Magazines

It's a very nice thing to do

We shall fight coughs in the fields and in the streets!