In which finally Zoe comes good on Ducky's meme.

Onya Ducky. I must be the last kid in the playground on this one, but I did enjoy finding the pictures.

7 things I want to do before I die:

1. Have another child.
2. Write something substantial that I’m proud of.
3. Hold my grandchild, and give them back. Heh.
4. Buy a house and make a garden there.
5. Shake off forever the craving for a cigarette. Except not right this minute now. Godammit.
6. Have tea at The Ritz with my beloved friends Katie and Cath.
7. Be my own boss.

7 things I cannot do:

1. Be on reality television. Tempting, but. Except “Fear Factor”. Not in the least tempted there. Eww.
2. Wear a white shirt and have it still be clean at day’s end.
3. Wake up after 5:30 am (thanks, Sage)
4. Undergo colonic irrigation.
5. Send poorly punctuated text messages.
5. Tolerate not making way for emergency vehicles. Come on!
6. Keep my fingernails noice.
7 Forget those hundreds of tiny details about meeting people, so that I wouldn't have to be careful about what I say when I meet them again in case it made them think I was odd. Or something. Oh dear, this isn't helping, is it?

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Cock. Well I’m sorry, if the meme was “7 things that I find attractive” it might have been a different answer. But it wasn’t, so there you go.*
2. A clever glint in his eye.
3. Accomplished flirting.
4. Seriousness about politics.
5. The presence of a bottom. It need by no means be a particularly marvellous bottom, but there must be some kind of bottom there. I can’t abide an anti-bottom.
6. Nice hands and arms.
7. Playfulness and the ability to laugh at yourself. I will be, so you might as well join in.

7 things that I say most often:

1. Do you need to do a wee?
2. Did you have a boy look, or a girl look?
3. I’m going to count to three
4. GRRRRRhhh
5. That's my P1 for this morning.
6. BEAKY! (that would be the dog’s name, as interpreted by a toddler)
7. Hilarious!

7 celebrity crushes:

1. Adam Hills. He's just getting better and better, isn't he?

2. Johnny Knoxville – the man that made sitting through "Jackass" bearable.

3. Colin Firth. Goes without saying.

4. Shaun Micallef. Oh my stars, yes. Felt a bit weird when I found out my Mum also had a crush on him, but I got over it fairly quickly.

5. Senator Stephen Conroy. I realise that this is completely right out, for many reasons, but I’m telling the truth so Jesus doesn’t kill a little kitten, OK. And if anyone can explain to me why doing a google image search for “Senator Conroy” gives you (a) a picture of Osama Bin Laden with a link to Currency Lad and (b) multiple links to the Heidelburg Volleyball Club, mine’s a large vodka tonic, cheers.

6. Joaquin. Phoenix. *sighs*

7. Robbie Williams. This man has more twinkle than any man alive, with the possible exception of (ahem) Ricky Martin. And my God, can’t Ricky Martin wear a trouser, btw? Does anyone in the world do better trouser? Nah, thought not.

* I can't believe that a joke this cheap hasn't been made yet.