Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, but at least I do not have worms

I opened my email this morning to a message from a new friend:

Oh my God! You are the first Blog site person whose 'stuff' I have read- only because your site entry came up when I was searching for something entirely unrelated to you- threadworms in fact and I'll come back to that later.

And how it has opened my eyes! Are you serious? Do you think that anyone gives a shit about your 'stuff'? Do you not have a life? Well, I guess not as you think you look like Sade (yeah, right, if your thumbnail is you- my colleague thinks you are a guy in a dress, but I'm not that rude, there is a line) and of course you are Australian- take it from a Kiwi- being you and being Australian does not actually qualify you as anyone worth reading about and I am just so amazed (well not really as I always knew blogs/bloggers were totally anal (sorry, threadworm connection)) that you obviously think differently.

Dear me, I have never been so bored in my entire life. I would love to devote my entire lunch time to analysing your site, your pretentious use of English and your pseudocomedic sytle, but I feel that your egomaniacal and narcissistic tendencies would, to use more commas, find you, as a blogger, indifferent to such criticism and I'm fed up typing with a sandwich lodged in my mouth.

Getting back to the poor old threadworm- I fear that your life is less interesting than that of the average bottom dweller, so please, for the sake of Humanity, give up this quest to flood this World with your drivel and move on.

Please.

Pretty please.

Rigor (not my real name, but hey, I'm not a pretentious Blogperson)

This is probably a knee-jerk reaction to you bloody Aussies beating us in the pool/velodrome/games/ohshiteverything- don't worry, we like Bronze (and 4th...)


You know, I had guessed his name wasn't Rigor. It's a pretty brutal name to give a kid, and anyway the email said it was from "Peter Rees". As Peter said, he found me doing a search for "threadworm infestations new zealand". The 7th result google turned up is:

crazybrave: February 2006 I totally started masturbating as a result of a threadworm infestation - but let's ... and recent New Zealand research which he says "indicates there are ...

I hope he isn't touching his mouth after he's touched his bottom.

You'll never get rid of them that way, Peter.