IPod SchmiPod

I know people who have IPods, honest I do. Some of them even have IPods that still work. But can I just suggest that it's a little bit of a sign of alienation from the beautiful world around you if you need to have some earphones glued into your head all the time, and a little bit of a sign of an unwillingness to be open to the potential of new things to have to have your music with you every minute of the day? Oh, and what about humming? Or walking down the street singing at the top of your lungs and smiling at anyone who looks twice, or even once, because you're in a goddam good mood?

I mock the IPodists playlist fetish. Guys! Put a different record on when that one finishes! Take turns! Electicism is easy with all the unloved viynl available at every garage sale and op shop.

I suggest that anyone who thinks that they love music tries a twenty year old Sony turntable with a new Stanton stylus, a Harmon Kardon amp and some B&W speakers. True, this costs considerably more than an IPod, but it sounds better and promotes social interaction of the most positive kind.

So I bring you "The last ten LPs I played on my record player", with explanatory notes for the IPod generation:

1. Caetano Veloso "Personalidade" - a compilation I bought in Brazil as an exchange student which I still listen to fifteen years later. Utter fucking genius.

2. Red Hot Chili Peppers "By the Way" - you may not know this, but many new releases are also released on vinyl. Some are not recorded in a way that makes handing over the dough worth it (old skool types may recognise the terms "analog" and "valve"), but this one is. John Frusciante's guitar and backing vocals are insanely good. And do ignore that Amazon reviewer in that link who says that the Chili Peppers have become "as reliable as U2 and REM".

3. Bob Dylan "Blood on the Tracks" - this is what happened when I first listened to this record. (and Haloscan stores the comments on old posts on some musty old server somewhere and denies that they are there until you hit the comment link. Still waiting, Frankie X Holden, waiting, waiting, waiting.)

4. Fleetwood Mac "Rumours" - the only thing wrong with this record is that it doesn't have "Tusk" on it. Is there a sweeter sound than a two year old trying to sing "The Chain"? Well, yes, probably, but it's a bloody good record.

5. Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass "Greatest Hits" - if you eat too much red emporer and drink too much nice wine, you might need to get the blood pumping again with some dancing. Which is when you want to put on a record that features "Spanish Flea", "Love Potion No. 9" AND "Zorba the Greek"

6. Weather Report "Mysterious Traveller" - this was an Owy selection. As I have mentioned before, and been threatened about, he has a thing for 70's progressive jazz.

7. The Bulgarian State Choir "Songs of the Plains" - I have a shocking habit of making slightly drunk dinner guests sit down in the dark and listen to track one, side two "The Volga Boatmen". Even O's parents. The shame inducing properties of said music fascism were mitigated (at least on that occasion) by O's mum being a choirmaster and music teacher and admitting that she had never heard a more spectacular and moving rendition. Which while true, was really very kind.

8. Jean-Luc Ponty "Aurora" - another O selection, but one I have come to love. At least the cover is a step up from the usual Ponty scariness. Anyone who doubts the cool that is Ponty should know that when Mr Ponty graduated with first prize from the Conservatoire de Paris, he went immediately to America to play with Frank Zappa for a couple of years. It is a source of great relief to me that the pact O and I once made in a moment of drunken sincerity to call our next child "Jean Luc", should he be a boy, is now but an amusing memory.



A completely false Jean Luc. I know, I know, I could work for
the AFR with pictures of this calibre.


9. Red Hot Chili Peppers "Blood Sugar Sex Magik" - you really should have this record on vinyl. And you should watch "Funky Monks". If you were very keen, and perhaps a teenager, you could read "Scar Tissue", Anthony Kiedis' autobiography, which is a shockingly badly edited book. Shame on you, ghost writer. What a waste of material. I mean, how can it be dull when you're a rock god and chicks knock on your hotel door in the midle of the night and beg to fuck you, and you don't want to, so they drop to their knees in the hotel corridor and suck you off? How?

10. Steve Reich "Drumming - Music for Mallet Instruments - Voices and Organ - Six pianos" - American 20th century minimalism never sounded so good, except when I saw Phillip Glass and ensemble perform Koyaanisqatsi (spell that when you're pissed) at the Opera House. I remember being cranky the next day, because all the reviews I read just talked about what first rate stoner music it was. This is completely true, but irrelevant. Speaking just for myself and my mates, we didn't get stoned 'til after the show.

There endeth Zoe Ludd's tour of music. Do follow some of those links, but be careful of the "Scar Tissue" one if you are disturbed and self harming. If you are disturbed and self-harming, go watch Secretary.

PS - Le Driver has expressed some concerns that people posting "last ten IPod songs" might perhaps be talking out their arse about their selections. You need have no concerns about that here. I'm obviously not doing this to look fashionable.


Update: FX has redeemed his earlier failure to match Flop Eared Amanda's kindness with a very gracious offer to send me music. Public shaming works a treat.