note to self
If the Bowling Club has a policy of not serving a spirit without a mixer, do not allow your friend Ross to persuade them that pouring half a dozen shots of Cuervo Gold into a jug of beer qualifies as a mixed drink.
If this should occur, and Ross is charged $23.60 for this jug of "mixed drink", do not follow his instruction to capitalise on the bar staff's obvious lack of mathematical ability or business sense and purchase another jug of "mixed drink" immediately.
If you do this, you will not win the 80's trivia competition. Dean will win because one of his team jumped on a table and dropped his pants during the air guitar physical challenge. They doubled their points again after the dirty dancing physical challenge, won by two men pashing while holding jugs of beer. Dean will wave goodbye from outside. He will be looking in the window laughing his guts out because you are singing karaoke. You will be singing "Don't go breaking my heart". You will be Elton John. The crowd will go wild, but it will all be downhill from there.
After several more hours carousing you will get on your bike to ride home and fall off about 400 times before locking it up and hailing a cab. This will be a long process.
When you wake up in the morning, you will have a swollen left knee, a very sore right elbow, a tequila hangover and no trace of dignity.
Remember, Zoe, that this is the short version of your misadventures.
If this should occur, and Ross is charged $23.60 for this jug of "mixed drink", do not follow his instruction to capitalise on the bar staff's obvious lack of mathematical ability or business sense and purchase another jug of "mixed drink" immediately.
If you do this, you will not win the 80's trivia competition. Dean will win because one of his team jumped on a table and dropped his pants during the air guitar physical challenge. They doubled their points again after the dirty dancing physical challenge, won by two men pashing while holding jugs of beer. Dean will wave goodbye from outside. He will be looking in the window laughing his guts out because you are singing karaoke. You will be singing "Don't go breaking my heart". You will be Elton John. The crowd will go wild, but it will all be downhill from there.
After several more hours carousing you will get on your bike to ride home and fall off about 400 times before locking it up and hailing a cab. This will be a long process.
When you wake up in the morning, you will have a swollen left knee, a very sore right elbow, a tequila hangover and no trace of dignity.
Remember, Zoe, that this is the short version of your misadventures.
posted by Zoe at 2:43 pm
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