Up there for thinkin'

People say academics live in Ivory Towers and couldn't tell their arses from their elbows, but it's not ALL like that.

For instance I was heating up my lunch just then in the kitchen* when I spotted an ice cream container on the counter with a note on top. I hoped it was an invitation to make off with homemade cake or something, but it said

MAGPIE DECOY BREAD

Throw far from picnic table
to lure magpies away

Not just clever, but kind and thoughtful too.

* The baby gets hungry very early. I mustn't look pregnant yet (just horribly fat) because people still look askance when I eat lunch early. So it was very nice to be able to say "If you were having lamb shanks braised in red wine and balsamic vinegar on polenta with some gremolata on top you'd want it at half past eleven too."

BUT, she reconsiders the next day - it's dumb to feed the magpies anything! They'll still associate people at the table with getting fed, and try and peck me at lunch. No decoy bread for YOU, little birdy.