: : crazybrave has moved to <a href="http://crazybrave.net">http://crazybrave.net/</a>: Counting my blessings

Monday, January 24, 2005

Counting my blessings

Things I have been deprived of by virtue of my parents' longstanding commitment to public education:

1. Nuns with guitars

This is a good thing. My sister and I have a standing arrangement that should any nuns with guitars appear at any occasion/ceremony/arcane religious practice that we are attending, we are to both remove ourselves immediately. Our mother is aware of this, and does not approve, because we giggle about it on the very rare occasions we find ourselves in church, and mutter loudly when the nuns in question do sneaky things like wear civvies and play keyboards.

At least I wasn't brought up a Sydney Anglican. My former boss David Brent was, and his wife played drums in church. When I asked if it was a bit gruesome when she practiced, he told me that wasn't a problem as she only played on Sunday. Ouch.

this kind of thing is not on

2. Screwy ideas about Art

My mum won a scholarship to one of those scary "Brides of Christ" type boarding schools. I'm not sure if they had to put talcum powder in the bath, but there were little vests and pants drawn on all the nudes in the art books. I wonder how the Sister responsible earnt the kind of trust necessary to be let loose on filth with a texta?

3. Liturgical dance

I was just the right age for this, too - my mate Fiasco copped years of it in her suburban parish school. Some of the more graceful students were fitted out in kaftans and improvised interpretive dance in front of the congregtation.

4. An understanding of the true role of incense

Obvious mistake.

5. A welcoming attitude to religious persons making unscheduled home visits

I got religion briefly at the end of primary school, and went about getting confirmed. Mum was pissed off when the priest just dropped 'round because he ate all the Kingston biscuits. Later she helped me pick my confirmation dress, which was red. I think she enjoyed that part.